the journey to becoming an overnight success

i came across a very inspirational story on twitter about a make-up artist in pursuit of her dreams. 

if you can't see the video CLICK HERE.

no matter what industry you're in, if there's something you've been striving for, but just can't seem to get it - this is for you. read Tatiana's full story on Necole Bitchie's blog.

today's topic | criticism

in case you didn't know, once you start blogging - it gives everybody and their mama the right to tell you how you should be doing it. 

am i guilty of this? absolutely. but my zealous advice comes from a place of sincerely wanting to help. not from the fiery pits of critical hell...although some who've sat down with me one-on-one would beg to differ. 

i made a change to MY blog and this is the feedback i received from a subscriber:

if you can't see the video CLICK HERE.

unsolicited criticism isn't just limited to blogging. all you gotta do is live your life and somebody will insert themselves and proceed to tell you what you're doing wrong. 

and to those people you say what?

My Favorite Part of Blogging

i think these "keep calm" memes are way overdone, but because i needed an image and didn't want to spend hours going through Flickr - i chose this one. it was on the first page of the search results. 

photo credit: hgjohn

Catherine, who blogs at Walking With Cake, has a series she does with another blogger in Canada. each week they answer a question on their blogs and i decided to crash the party. 

What is your favorite part of blogging?

i have total creative control of this space. 

yes, meeting and connecting with people all across the globe is rewarding, but that's not the thing that keeps me going. i love being able to say whatever it is i want to say, when i want to say it, without worrying about filters. and i don't need anyone's permission or approval to do so.

not many people have this option. even as a leader and decision maker in corporate America, my creativity was stifled. stepping too far outside the box was frowned upon...even if it made sense. 

i don't have to worry about those kinds of things here. and because i have all the freedom in the world to do what i want in my own little corner of the internets - it makes it easier to deal with the things i can't control. 

moral of the story: blogging is the perfect outlet for control freaks who like to write and share their life story with complete strangers. for free.

Today's News: Lil Wayne, Carnival Cruises & 19 Kids

I had every intention of not reporting on rappers and reality stars, but when CNN did a segment on Lil Wayne - it left the door wide open for me.  

Here's what's generating buzz around the web and beyond: TMZ practically kills Lil Wayne...twitter reacts. Carnival Cruise should claim bankruptcy - like now. Will you sponsor my uterus?

If you can't see the video CLICK HERE.

Click the links below to read more about the stories featured in this episode:

TMZ Damn Near Killed Weezy

Carnival Cruises Parks Their Boats...at least for the time being

The Duggars Do Asia

Today's News: Sheryl Sandberg - Lean In

I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "Damned if you do - damned if you don't". Without putting words into Sheryl Sandberg's mouth, it's probably safe to assume that's how she feels right about now. 

Sandberg is the author of Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, and her new book is getting alot of criticism. And because I've been known to raise a few eyebrows myself, I totally agree with her message.

If you can't see the video CLICK HERE.

What are your thoughts on the premise of Sandberg's book?

Today's News: Jodi Arias, Martha Stewart & No CPR

It's no secret that I want to work in media. I used to think I wanted to host my own tv talk show, but with the way shows get cancelled these days - I'm starting to rethink that idea. This doesn't mean I don't want it to happen, it just means that a new media production is probably a better option. 

Since I don't have offers coming at me left and right, I decided to utilize the web - and a webcam - and take matters into my own hands. 

A couple of my blogging buddies have weekly series on their blogs where they share their perspectives on what's going on in the world. I decided to join them. Kita and Whitney - thank you both for the inspiration.

Here ya go. Current events and news you can use. From a blogger's point of view. 

If you can't see the video CLICK HERE. 

How many of these do you think I have to produce on my own before the major networks come calling?!

Money In The Mail

My loyalty rewards from my electric company came in the mail last week. I got $70.36...that's a few dollars less than last year's amount but I'm not complaining. At all. 

I had a general idea about what I would buy this time around. Last summer I started pricing webcams due to the fact that my laptop didn't come with one built in. After reading some reviews, it looked like I would end up spending around $50. 

I got a Logitech C310 for $29.99. It was regularly $49.99. I think Best Buy had it marked down because they now price match Amazon. And speaking of Best Buy, due to their horrible service, I had a $50 gift card they sent me and I still had $22 remaining on it. I was saving it to go toward my webcam.

After paying the difference for the webcam and splurging on the kids at Taco Bell, I have just under $50 left on the loyalty rewards gift card. It'll be used for new MAC foundation and a wig. 

Now about this webcam situation and what it means to you:

I'll be posting more videos here. There are things I want to discuss and sometimes "talking" it is better than typing it. Know what I mean?

That's about all I know so far. It'll pretty much be like everything else I conjure up...Do. Then plan. 

And if you haven't looked into loyalty rewards programs offered by your service providers you need to get on that ASAP. 

Healthy Meals for Busy Moms

On any given day, I see a number of busy moms taking to twitter looking for dinner inspiration. But they aren't wanting just any old recipes. They're all seeking the same thing - something quick and its gotta be healthy. 

It doesn't matter if you work inside the home or spend your day slaving away in a cubicle. We're all pressed for time and stretched thin trying to do more with less, especially when it comes to cooking. 

So is it really possible to serve the best of both worlds at the dinner table tonight? Can you whip up a home-cooked meal that tastes good and doesn't call for an hour of prep work and a pantry full of expensive specialty ingredients? 

Of course you can and Debra Shigley shows you how!

photo courtesy of indebskitchen.com

Deb created In Deb's Kitchen with us in mind. She realized the majority of us want to incorporate fresh foods with healthier, packaged options. She also put together a few food rules. Nothing real strict or complicated and some go against the "clean" eating advice you may have heard. 

I could talk about food all day. Go take a look for yourself. Let me know what you think.

CLICK HERE to join Deb on Facebook.

How To Upsell A Cheapskate

Have you ever pulled up to the drive-thru and before you could get your window down, the employee was asking, "Would you like to try one of our triple decker milkshakes today?!" 

And when you politely say no - and proceed to ask for what you came to get - they finish off by saying, "Is that all? Would you like one of your triple decker milkshakes to complete your order?"

Um. Didn't we already have this conversation??

In the past, these kinds of upsells were only limited to fast food restaurants. Now, almost anywhere you go you'll be hit with a million dollar add-on question. And in most instances, the script the poor clerk has been given to recite is all wrong. 

Why? Because it's a script. It doesn't change. They spit out the deal of the day to every customer they encounter. No matter what the person is buying. 

Office Depot got it right though. I absolutely love that place. Not because they try to milk me for extra cash when I go in to get copies made, but simply because when they do - they push something on me that I actually might need. 

The last time I went in for copies, the manager (yes! their managers really do work and don't just stand around with hand-held talking devices trying to look important) glanced at my press releases and said, "Would you like to see how these would look on colored paper?!" 

Well yes I do...and why didn't I think of that??

He walked me over to their selections, patiently let me look at about six different colors, and then he broke it down as to which colors cost what. Maybe he could look in my eyes and tell I was one of those kinds of people. If you give me too many choices, I can't commit. But when you put a price tag on those options, my ass can make a buying decision quick, fast, and in a hurry!

So why didn't he try to direct my attention to the marked down printers right behind me? Duh. I obviously had a printer of some sort and I didn't come in asking for one. I came in wanting copies. It was his job to make me leave with better copies than I knew I wanted. 

That's how the sales process works. You listen. You identify a need. And then you offer a solution specific to that customer. Not a one-size-fits-all lame attempt to merely increase the number of items sold per transaction. 

Is it hard? Not at all. Is it easier to train inexperienced sales teams to recite a script? Probably so. But we all know that easy and effective are not the same. 

Getting More Facebook Likes

The Facebook page for my style blog has grown by 81% in the past three months and I didn't resort to buying "likes" for it to do so. 

Here's what I did to give it a boost:

updated my page more frequently - For me, that means going from 1-2 times per week to 3-4 times. Why not every day? Because it turns into information overload and your messages become diluted. Instead of forcing stuff on my fans on a daily basis, I focus on sharing relevant, quality content I think they'll read, benefit from, and share. 



liked other pages as Discount Thief - This strategy has proven to be super effective for driving people back to my page. In order for this to work, you have to engage ethically on other people's pages. Simply put: no spammy, self-serving comments. Never ever do I mention my blog or my services. If the page owner asks a question, I answer it. If they're making small talk, I chime in. when I read something interesting on their blog, I go to their Facebook page and let them know the value I got from it. It's always about the page owner. Not about me.

Here's what others did to add to my numbers:

publicly recognized my work - The administrator from a group of local bloggers emailed me to let me know I was chosen as the featured blogger of the week. This was a pleasant surprise, especially considering I was no longer an active member of the Facebook group. Keeping with that whole ethics thing, I immediately advised them that I wasn't a member and told them I understood if they needed to rescind. Turns out, since the group is geared solely toward Austin area bloggers - that was good enough for them. Talking about grateful! 



gave me shout outs - Natasha from One Woman's Style and Evolution and Miss Rockwell from Thrifty and Shameless showed me love. Be it blog traffic or growing your social media presence, having people in your corner to toot your horn is priceless. Reciprocating and returning the favor is a must. Promote others and you'll get it back ten fold. 

Are you making progress with your social media efforts? What's working for you?

How Long Should A Blog Post Be?

Last week I participated in the #BlogTrends chat on twitter. The topic for the night centered around ways to  grow our blogs and new technology to aid in the process. 

At some point, somebody asked how long should a blog post be. Now listen. If you've never participated in a chat before this kind of question may seem off topic, but it's not. One of the things I like about twitter chats is that most have an open format. If a question pops in your head - you're free to ask and more than likely you'll get an answer. 

In this particular instance, there were lots of answers. And they were all across the board too. Some folks said they prefer reading longer posts. Others chimed in saying if a post was too short, they felt like it was rushed and half done. 

Here's my advice:

Instead of focusing on how long or short the post should be, focus on what you want to say. 

1. If you're writing a how-to post, have you detailed all of the steps?
2. What's the purpose of the post? What do you hope to accomplish?
3. If a reader lands on your blog for the first time, will what they read make them want to come back?

There's all kinds of blogging tips out there. Some I agree with, but most I don't. 

One thing I know for sure is if your primary focus is on how long your posts should be, you won't have a successful blog. 

What are your thoughts?

Work at Home Fail

There's no better way to start the new year than diving in deep with the intentions of making all the money you possibly can. If you're reading this and you're one of those people who thinks money is a four-letter word, this isn't the place for you. 

I believe in and seek abundance. The more I have - the more of a blessing I can be to others. 

I came across a work from home gig on Facebook. It was posted on a page that I trust by a blogger who specializes in finding legit opportunities. I read through it and set aside some time to start the application process. 

The position entailed calling apartment communities and completing phone surveys. Sounds easy enough doesn't it?! The pay was $10/hour and the project only lasted 4-6 weeks. Not bad at all. And you could even have noise going on in the background while making your calls.

The first thing you have to do is complete an assessment. 

Listen. This was no easy test. There were 30+ questions and almost every one contained multiple parts, which ends up being more like 70+ questions. And these weren't no multiple choice kinds of questions either. It involved reading - thoroughly - and writing out your answers. In sentences. 

After spending about two and a half hours and completing eight questions, I put it down to take a break. All of your reference materials weren't on one document. There were two different places you toggled back and forth to get your answers. I kept telling myself, "If you make it through this test - the work won't be that hard." I started back on the assessment again the next day and spent about 45 minutes on two questions.

Needless to say, I got a headache and tossed that shit aside. Permanently. 

Did I tell you if you miss more than THREE questions you won't be considered?? If this is what work at home jobs consist of - I ain't about that life! 

I totally understand having a process in place to get the right people to ensure the success of your project. But in my opinion, this was a little but too much. I seriously had flashbacks of studying for my real estate exam. 

So in conclusion: this initial work from home attempt didn't quite work out. 

I'll keep you posted on anything else I find. 

#FearlessMom Campaign

Maimah Karmo, a Liberian refugee and young mother of a toddler, was 32 when she received her breast cancer diagnosis. She was also engaged at the time, and her fiancé left her right before the wedding. Maimah's world turned upside-down, but instead of letting her disease beat her, Maimah turned her plight into action.

Maimah is the founder of the Tigerlily Foundation, an organization that educates, empowers and advocates for young women affected by breast cancer. The idea was born after her second chemotherapy treatment, and when she appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show to tell her story, Oprah's advice was clear. "Write a book," Oprah instructed.

So Maimah did. Fearless: Awakening to My Life's Purpose Through Breast Cancer (Brown Books, October 2012) is about "my transformation," says Maimah, "and how I learned that a challenge can be a gift."

Fearless is a stunning account of Maimah's upbringing in Liberia—which was uprooted when she was 16 years old, and her family was forced to flee to the US—to living the American Dream, watching it all fall apart with a breast cancer diagnosis, and ultimately, bouncing back. Today, Maimah has single-handedly changed the world of breast cancer diagnosis and recovery, and her work has been celebrated everywhere from Redbook Magazine to ­­­­Good Morning America.

"I am dedicated to changing the breast cancer landscape and creating a legacy of a world free of breast cancer," says Maimah.

In 2009, L'Oreal's Paris Woman of Worth chose Maimah as the recipient of their Award, and the Congressional Black Caucus Leadership in Advocacy awarded Maimah in 2011. She and the Tigerlily Foundation have been profiled in numerous national outlets: O, the Oprah Magazine, Essence, Ladies Home Journal, Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, Good Housekeeping, Harper’s Bazaar, Marie Claire, and Redbook. She has also appeared on national television media, including The Oprah Winfrey Show,Good Morning America, FOX, ABC News, and CBS.

 "The morning my life changed, I made a vow to live as loudly as possible. I would jump into the things that made me afraid; I would risk everything to feel, to live and to love. Most of all, I would be fully present in life and give of myself so that others may have the incredible joy I feel every day of my life," says Maimah.

How can you participate in the campaign for Fearless Moms?

Is there a mom in your life who is absolutely FEARLESS? Has she overcome odds that were overwhelmingly against her? Does she constantly take-on life’s curve balls with poise and positivity?  Above all, is she an overwhelming source of love, encouragement and inspiration? We’re on a mission to honor these leading ladies in our lives and need your help!

• Think of a Fearless Mom in your life and feature her on your blog. Share the post with Maimah Karmo on Twitter (@MaimahKarmo) with the hashtag, #FearlessMom and on Maimah’s Facebook page. 

• Send the link to your blog post featuring your selection for a Fearless Mom to Claire@prbythebook.com by December 31^st, 2012.

Five nominees will be selected to attend Maimah’s Fearless Female Conference next year. They will also receive Maimah’s book, Fearless: Awakening to My Purpose Through Breast Cancer.

about the author:

MAIMAH KARMO was born in Monrovia, Liberia, and lived there until fleeing to the United States with her family in 1989. She lived in New Jersey before moving to Virginia, where she currently resides with her daughter. Learn more at www.tigerlilyfoundation.com

Instant Gratification | Short-Term Gain

My social life is non-existent. Unless you count Friday nights when Baby Daddy drags me out to eat. Getting me to step foot outside of Headquarters is a struggle, but I don't put up much of a fight when it comes to food. 

People on the outside looking in send their condolences. They interpret my focus and self-discipline to mean I'm missing out. Deprived of fun. That couldn't be further from the truth. 

One thing I've learned along my journey is that you truly get out of life what you put into it. How you spend your time now will determine how your time will be spent later. 

image: ann par

Put in work on the front end. 

A short-term sacrifice in exchange for long-term payoffs. 

Selling Your Soul For Facebook Fans

Kita over at KoKoa Magazine cracked the case on all of those Facebook pages with thousands upon thousands of 'Likes'. She tweeted about it recently, saying some brands are buying their thumb-ups. 

She and I both agreed we weren't going out like that. I tweeted back saying I'll continue to grow my fashion blog page just like I've been doing - one click at a time. 

While I won't rule out purchasing FB ads in the future, you don't ever have to worry about me forking over my hard earned money for other fraudulent questionable social media marketing shenanigans. 

The conversation got me to thinking though. Like, how up until last week, I hadn't hit the 50 fan milestone yet. I was holding steady at 45 for quite some time. The biggest reason my page isn't growing is due to my lack of self-promotion. I publish content and engage, but that's about it. 

Last Sunday I got a new hairdo and shared a pic on my FB page. The photo was accompanied by this simple two word status update: "what'cha think?!" 

Within minutes thumbs starting flying left and right. When it was all said and done, 20% of my fans had weighed in by liking the update and the post was seen by 84 people. I then shared the post on my personal page and had three friends like discount thief. 

The small amount of effort I put into that update took me from 45 to 54 likes. An increase of 20%. 

A social media expert is going to read this and want to give me all kinds of tips and advice on being more strategic. It's not that serious right now. Will it take longer to hit the next milestone? Probably so. But that's ok.

The bottom line is that I already know what to do. I just need to do more of it. More often. 

VIDEO: Bloggy Boot Camp 2012

If you landed here and you're a blogger or you know a blogger - watching this video is a must. 

If you're a blogger searching for a blogging conference to attend - you're in luck. 

If you can't see the video CLICK HERE.

You still have time to get your ticket for Bloggy Boot Camp 2012: Brand Edition.

Got questions? Blast em below in the comments.

Wanna share your blogging conference experience?! Go ahead...in the comments below.

And if you know how to keep me from having these intoxicating looking YouTube thumbnails - please do tell!

How To Save Money When Going to a Conference

I'm headed to my first ever blogging conference in a couple of weeks. A larger conference like BlogHer is on my list to attend, but I wanted to ease into it by going to a smaller, more intimate one first. 

I can't actually remember the last time I've gone to a conference as an attendee. I'm usually speaking and the experience is totally different. Most times you don't have the opportunity to participate in other sessions because you're too busy working. And yes - it is work. 

Bloggy Boot Camp is touching down in Dallas, TX, the weekend of September 14th. I bought my ticket in March and booked my hotel room this weekend - which prompted me to write this post.

If you've ever traveled anywhere for any reason, I don't have to tell you how expensive it can be. Especially if you have to fly. When you throw conference tickets into the mix, it can add up quickly. And let's not talk about all the pricey add-on events....VIP parties, awards ceremonies, and the like. 

I got an email this weekend from the #BBCDAL team and it looks like their sponsors are footing the bills for the extra curricular activities. None of the party info was followed by "Buy Your Ticket" links. BAM! This is my kinda gig right here. 

Ok. So now. The reason for this post. 

Conferences always promote the special room rate they've negotiated with the hotel. One that's lower than the regular rate. $119 per night is the going price for Bloggy Boot Campers. Not wanting to pay that price, I attempted to get hotel sponsorship but couldn't. 

I have a client who works at DoubleTree by Hilton. I sent her an email asking if there were any promotions going on. No...I didn't ask for a hook-up. That's just tacky. 

Anyway, she hopped online and found a super low guaranteed rate of $89/night. When I got ready to book my room this weekend, there was even lower rate being offered. A $79 advance purchase rate. I must've typed about 95 miles per hour trying to get my info entered in! 

That's an $80 savings off of the conference room rate. 

Moral of the Story: Always do your research. It really does pay off in the long run. 

I'll be sharing more about the conference in the coming weeks so stay tuned. I'm really excited to be going. 

Do you have any advice you'd like to share to ensure I get the most out of it?

Yes...You Can't Do It Alone

When I launched the personal style blog, I thanked a few people who helped make it possible. When you read my Backstory, you'll see how my Daddy influenced my entrepreneurial endeavors. 

Throughout my entire life I've had somebody, somewhere giving me a hand-up (not to be confused with a hand-out) so I could then help myself.

I moved to Austin 21 years ago. Me and a couple of girls decided to come for the weekend and never went back to the small town we called home. They had family here. I didn't. That was my primary reason for wanting to stay. I needed to gain my independence and the only way I could do that was by leaving my family. I'm the youngest of four kids, my Daddy's 13th child, and needless to say - I was spoiled loved. I was going down the road of non-stop mistakes with my sisters, uncle, and mama bailing me out.

Fast forward to today. I've raised the most amazing daughter anyone could ask for, have a brilliant son following along in her footsteps while making imprints that are uniquely his own, and have been afforded the opportunity to work in a variety of fields. But most of all, I get the greatest joy and sense of accomplishment from what I do as an entrepreneur. 

And just like all of the people who welcomed me into their homes when I couldn't go and be with my family, I've been blessed to meet folks who embrace, inspire, and push me to achieve greatness in business. 

The notion that you can OR did do it alone is laughable. 

If you're striving for success and despite your efforts, you just can't seem to get there - it might be a good time to survey your circle of influence. Take inventory of your support group. Look at where your roots are planted in the community. 

Oh...you don't have any of that? 

Well it's about time you step away from the computer and start to really connect.

If you're any closer to your dreams today than you were yesterday, chances are, somebody helped you get there. 

Tea invited me to her Word Carnival. Wanna see what other bloggers/small business owners have to say about this topic? Go ahead...click here.

AT&T Penalizes Customers For Saving

While talking to my friend Linda last week, she mentioned she was going to call her home phone provider to have one of her features removed. We both have AT&T. I hadn't called them in a while to see what promotions they were offering, which would in turn lower my bill. Last time I did this I ended up saving 50% on internet service. 

Here's what happened when I called this past weekend:

$17 MONTHLY SAVINGS

Following Linda's lead, I cut back on the feature I no longer needed. In my case, it was long distance. It makes absolutely no sense when I have unlimited calling anywhere in the U.S. on my cell phone. 

My monthly plan went from $47 down to $30. 

There weren't any deals going on with internet service so I couldn't cut that cost, but believe me - I asked!

Here's what else happened:

$9.50 FEE FOR DOWNGRADING

They charged me for saving money. Can you believe that?!

I was penalized for getting rid of a service I didn't need. I don't know if this service fee was applied and explained when Linda changed her plan, but this type of stuff is something we should all be aware of as consumers. 

No matter what's happening with the economy and job market, companies are going to ensure they continue to get paid. One way or another. This is a prime example. 

It didn't cost AT&T one red cent to process the change in my plan. And likewise, had I called to upgrade my service, thus putting more money in their pockets, they would've thanked me for being a loyal customer and sent me on my merry way. 

Eliminating my landline all together isn't an option right now. It's still a necessity. Just because I have to have it, that doesn't mean I want to pay an arm and a leg for it. 

Thanks, AT&T, for the awesome customer experience. 

I owe you. No really. I owe you for this one. 

Judging By How Often I Do It

I've been going to the same hairstylist for the past five years. There have been a few times where I've had one night stands with other stylists. For good reasons. 

When she relocated to Houston for a while, I had to find someone else. And then I ran across a mobile stylist and that seemed like a dream come true. Problem: this person would show up late to Headquarters for my appointments...like really late. Getting my hair done at home was convenient, but not at the expense of my time. 

Ok...so I go get a haircut last week and before I leave, my stylist makes the comment that she won't see me for another six months. The person who works at the station next to her said, "Bye friend...we'll see you in October". 

Let's get something straight. I'm not a "get my hair did every week" kinda woman. 

In the past, yep. That was me. Every week I was sitting my happy ass down in my then-stylist's chair dishing out money like nobody's business. That money didn't include buying the hair! 

Would I do that today? Hell to the no. I value my money AND my time ever so differently. 

Now, I get my hair done when I need it. When it's getting too long and/or the color is fading (it's dyed a dark-dark-brown-almost-black color). The exception: when I have a paid appearance I need to show up to and I want to look the part of a polished professional worth the client/organization's investment. 

Anytime else - I'm in the bathroom doing my own hair. 

Here's the reason I'm bitching about this in the first place: for some reason, my stylist (and her nosey ass booth neighbor!) seem to think I'm a less valuable customer because of the frequency in which I visit the salon. That's so not true. 

One thing they're failing to realize is that I'm a loyal customer. 

The only stylist I get in bed with is Felice. That's it. The mobile stylist chick was giving her a run for her money though...I actually liked Mobile Girl's work and she used really good products on my hair. I just couldn't deal with the unprofessional tardiness. 

Sidenote: lack of professionalism among black hairstylists shall become an entirely different post...just wait. 

Here's what it all boils down to: I don't care if I only buy your product or service once a year - that one time - treat me like you care. 

'We The Customer' have choices. 

'We The Customer' can change our minds at any given moment and choose to do business elsewhere. 

The experience itself could be the reason our purchases are so few and far in between. 

p.s. - I love Felice. She and I have a heartwarmingly dysfunctional relationship. This is by no means an attack on her personally, but intended to shed light on the obstructed mentality some business owners have when it comes to customer appreciation.