24 Hours Before 39

I celebrated my 39th birthday yesterday. I'm not one of those women who gets all depressed about getting a year older and as you can see, I have no problem telling my age. Here's a recap of what happened before the big day:

On Monday I got a free massage. One of my Facebook friends has a friend who's getting her license and she needed warm bodies to practice on. 

Sign. Me. Up!

Candid Confession: In all of my 38 years and 364 days, I'd never had a professional massage. The bribed foot rubs from The Girl and The Boy certainly don't count. I thought they did. I know better now. 

I was feeling a little anxious about driving across town to meet a stranger who would end up putting her hands all over me. This free offer didn't sound so good any more. I woke The Girl and left her a copy of the address and directions to where I was going - just in case I didn't make it back. I called Baby Daddy upon my arrival and gave him a description of the house. I told him if he didn't hear from me in an hour, call the authorities. I'd fallen victim to sex trafficking. 

A soft spoken lady greeted me at the door and ushered me to the room where it was about to go down. I carefully surveyed the place. Looking for clues. Signs of a previous struggle.  Anything out of the ordinary. She asked if I had any injuries she needed to know about. I started naming off all kinds of ailments - everything I've ever self-diagnosed with the help of WebMD. Clearly this would make a human smuggler change their mind about holding me captive. My astigmatism, seasonal allergies, and tendinitis would hinder my sex-slaving abilities.

She told me to get undressed to the point where I felt comfortable, get on the table underneath the sheet,  put my face in the cradle, and she would return in a few minutes. As soon as she left, I grabbed my phone and sent Baby Daddy a text:

Me: I'm about to get undressed! Start praying and be on standby!

Him: Ok, but if there's any trouble I'm sure you can take em down!

Dude - this IS NOT the time for a pep talk. My ass could literally be on the line here. 

When she entered the room alone - minus duct tape and rope- I knew everything was ok. I could lay there and enjoy the experience. After about 15 minutes of total relaxation, I came to the conclusion that I never wanted to leave. This quaint little room would be my new home.

Fully equipped with a soon-to-be licensed masseuse.

Today's Video: Winning - Bangle & Clutch

Ok..last Tuesday I entered to win this cute clutch bag on Facebook from bangleandclutch.com - it was my second time trying. Never giving up applies to so many things in life - accessories included!

I wanted to share the experience with you so watch the video to see my reaction:

If you can't see the video CLICK HERE

Me Time

I'm a huge fan of Dr. Oz. On one of his shows he said you should go out and socialize at least one time per week. I forgot exactly why he said we should do it. I think it had something to do with reducing stress or preventing depression or something. Regardless - I know that I don't get out "for fun" nearly as much as I should.

So when Chris called last week and said she wanted to get together, I didn't make any excuses. We set a date immediately to meet at our regular spot. Kona Grill in The Domain. The best weekend happy hour in town.

Either I'm a total lush or love the hell outta that girl. I drove with no a/c in what had to be triple digit temperatures during the hottest part of the day to eat sushi, avocado egg rolls, and sip margaritas. 

Note: It's impossible to overeat with a personal trainer sitting next to you. I had my eye on some chicken potstickers and I can still hear Chris's voice as I tried to tell the waiter to bring me some:

"We don't need that, Donna. We'll eat too much. The eggrolls are fried...that'll make us feel full."

Um...look here, Missy. We got two different stomachs. And mine is used to having one of everything on the menu. Thank you kindly. 

We did a good job of not talking about work. I needed that. I really really needed that. I proposed we do this once a month. She agreed.

Oh - and a huge shout out to Baby Daddy for sponsoring my field trip!

Today's Video: So You Think You're a Smart A**?!

Well, well, well...as I was waiting for this video to upload, LaTara Bussey Ham-Ying shared this on Facebook:

People who have a need to try and be an expert in everything are often looking for ways to validate themselves and feel very lonely!

We both can't be making this stuff up can we?

If you can't see the video CLICK HERE.

3 Media Lessons from an Almost Famous Blogger

After pitching interviewing tips for the unemployed, I was invited a couple of weeks ago to be a guest again on KXAN's weekend news.

I think I was more nervous this time than I was the first time around. In case you didn't know: there are no do-overs on live tv!

Weekend anchor, Catenya McHenry, does a good job of making me feel relaxed and I love her conversational interviewing style.

While I'm totally ecstatic about this whole experience, I want to share with you how it all came about - from the beginning. If media exposure isn't your bag of chips, pass this along to someone else who may benefit from it. 

LESSON #1: RELATIONSHIPS MATTER

If you follow me on twitter, you know I often tweet about people I've connected with online and then have either developed an offline relationship or nurtured our online connection to the point where it feels like we really know each other. There's a huge difference between meeting someone for coffee because you think they're a good prospect versus genuinely getting to know someone and then allowing the relationship to evolve organically.

I met me and The Boy's barber through my hairstylist. He relocated to Austin after Hurricane Katrina and KXAN interviewed him last year when they did a story on New Orleans natives who were rebuilding their lives. Meteorologist Rhonda Lee is one of his clients. I asked to be introduced to her. Rhonda told my barber to pass her contact info on to me and I reached out to her with a story idea. At the time, Rhonda didn't know Thomas, the owner of Kick Butt Coffee, but ended up meeting him at a local event prior to us going on the show. 

Are you keeping up with the relationship thread so far?!

After my first time as a guest, I introduced the producer to Linda D. Wilson. Well, what had happened was I gave all three ladies a gift made by Linda. Note: I bought the gifts with my money - she didn't sponsor me. You can see Linda's appearance here. I met Linda a couple of years ago when she attended one of my workshops.

LESSON #2: DON'T BE A JACKASS

All of this takes time. And patience. If you don't have either one, none of what I tell you will work. 

Following-up is tricky. You have to be on the radar just enough to let the producers know you're interested, but not to the point where you start to get on their nerves. Instead of trying to come up with a routine check-in (ie: once a week, every two weeks, etc.), just focus on reaching out to the media when you have a timely, newsworthy story idea. Never once have I ever emailed an outlet asking if they got my email. If it didn't come back undeliverable - assume they got it and move on.

Don't ask when they'd like to have you back. Listen to the feedback and depending on what you're told, use it as an opportunity to create an invitation for yourself. That's what I did. After my first appearance, the producer came out and congratulated us on a good segment. Even the camera man chimed in as to how well it went. The producer then told me she'd be in touch to have me come back on. She also mentioned it would be after the SXSW festival - a busy time for local media here in Austin.

I sent a follow-up note a few weeks after SXSW and included a newsworthy pitch in the same email. It was short and sweet. Three tips with about two sentences each. About a month later, I sent another email with a different pitch I'd carefully customized. I didn't know if they'd highlight the tips, but in case they did, they all began with the letter C. Something the viewers would be sure to read and remember. The extra time and effort I put into it paid off.

LESSON #3: TRAIN LIKE A PROFESSIONAL AMATEUR 

I don't have a journalism degree and have never worked in the media industry. Everything I've managed to accomplish has been self-taught. Thank God for blogs like this one to help me along the way.

Pitching ideas from your comfy home office is one thing and actually sitting behind a news desk next to people who do this for a living with cameras and lights all in your face is a whole'nother story. Be ready.

I spend hours in the classroom. And what does my classroom look like? Most would probably describe it as useless web surfing and brain numbing tv watching. There are times when I really want to have a glass of wine with the Basketball Wives, but I can't because I gotta report to the lab with Anderson Cooper. Saturday nights with Suze Orman count as a double-date. I get a personal finance smackdown while visualizing being on my own set that bears a striking resemblance to hers.

No matter what is you want to do, you can't make excuses anymore. You can't blame a lack of this, not enough that, or another person for that matter. You just read a true story of how one woman is doing it all herself. Opening up her mouth, lining herself up with the right people, and rolling up her sleeves determined to get the job done. 

If it's working for me, it sure as hell will work for you.

Email Confession: I Quit

"Hey Donna,

I wanted to apologize that I have been out of touch.

I take it seriously when you ask me if I'm in the boat rowing with you or not.

And, I take it seriously when you ask me to gut-check whether or not social media is a passion of mine.

It doesn't make sense for me to spend money and put myself out there and solicit feedback/mentoring/coaching if I'm not actively working to make money or grow my business. Not the right time for me to be in the boat, or maybe it's just not the right boat at this time ... hhmm ... word choice is interesting, right? :-)

For the 2nd half of May, I tried something different. I took the rush & pressure off of growing a business, and put that on the back burner. I put the focus back on my personal and family life, and felt the stress melt away.

I've still got big ideas to pursue, and an extraordinary contribution to make, and a new reality to create for myself. But, I've learned that, for me, these things take time. And, I have some more foundation to lay in my personal life that will allow me to springboard into being an even better businesswoman.

I am very grateful for all the excellent questions you helped raise for me, and the really good advice you've given me.

Let's keep in touch!"

ROCKIN' THE BOAT & JUMPIN' SHIP:

• Passion is a word that's used too loosely. Just because you know a little bit or enjoy doing something every now and again doesn't make it your passion. You aren't the only one who decided to throw your hat in the social media management ring only to find it more of a hobby vs. something you can eat, sleep, and breathe as a serious business venture. Thank your guts for giving you the courage to try it out and for helping you come to this conclusion.

•  Personal development is more important than professional development. Yes, I just said that. Especially for an entrepreneur when you are your brand. If you've seen any kind of growth and confidence in yourself, your money wasn't wasted.  It just may benefit you to continue making the investment to help you reach your full potential - in life and in business.

• Time either works for or against you. Don't drag your feet making decisions because of fear and tell yourself that's your way of taking your time. Entrepreneurs make decisions quickly and aren't guided by emotions when doing so. While one person is weighing all of their options and looking at pros and cons, the risk taking business owner has already seized the opportunity.

Blogging Tool I Can't Blog Without

While making my morning rounds on twitter today, @HighImpactMom asked:

Bloggers, I have a question, what has been ur most effective way of ensuring consistent writing and posting? How do u make time?

Which led to the following exchange:

Me: I stopped limiting myself 2 only writing at certain times. When the thought hits me, I act immediately

@HighImpactMom: Ugh.But I can't do that.Maybe if I kept a journal or small notebook that would make it easier.But I have 2 on the go kids. No time

Yes - keeping a small notebook handy at all times is a must.

But here's what has helped me tremendously

This isn't the exact one I have...taking a picture of it would've taken more time.

HOW I USE IT FOR BLOGGING

There are times when thoughts come to me faster than I can write. I've found myself driving and I'll see something that sparks an idea for a post. 

Warning: Writing and/or blogging while driving can kill you and others! Don't do it!

1. Dictate your thoughts into your voice recorder
2. Transcribe and publish

 In Amanda's case, she later tweeted she'd set aside two hours of writing time. Bingo! You don't have to waste any of that time trying to come up with content. Just push play and start typing. 

The $25 investment for my voice recorder was one of the best yet. I'm really old school when it comes to certain things, but sometimes pen and paper won't cut it.

photo: ahaus

Who I Am vs. What I Do

This past Saturday I participated in my first 5k. I had no idea what that equated to in miles, but resisted the urge to Google and find out. I didn't want the distance to scare me into backing out. 

What I did know was this: no matter how far it was, my ass was walking - not running. Mission accomplished in about 56 minutes. And I can honestly say I'm looking forward to doing it again.

I thought about taking my camera so I could take photos and share them with you. Changed my mind. I felt myself getting preoccupied with capturing the moment instead of allowing myself to experience the moment. There's a huge difference in the two if you ask me. 

I don't want the process of blogging to overshadow the lessons or dilute my journey. I've read a multitude of posts other bloggers have written where they talk about how burdensome it gets when you live your life for the soul purpose of writing content. Everything you plan and do centers around "your next post" - regardless if it's a personal or business blog. If you want to know what burn out feels like, take this approach. 

Had I gotten bogged down with the photo opp details, I would've completely overlooked the whole reason I was in the 5k is because one of my blog subscribers invited me. I would've failed to be grateful for the connection she made and initiative she took to reach out to me in the first place. I would've dismissed the fact that no matter how many pageviews I get, it's pointless if you don't relate to me. I'm wasting my time and yours if I miss the mark on making you see that I'm human - a real person - just like you. 

This is why I do what I do. This is what being comfortable in your skin and not giving a damn what others think about it feels like. These are the things you're rewarded with when you allow others to experience the real you.

Thank you, Bonni, for inviting me and accepting me just as I am.