Stairway to Success - AMBITION

This is the second post in the Stairway to Success series.  

CLICK HERE to see my thoughts about Confidence and the quote that started it all.

AMBITION

(n) -  1. an ardent desire for rank, fame, or power  2. desire to achieve a particular end

When I look at the second definition of the word, one particular story comes to mind. It was last year when I made an audition video to compete in a reality contest to become a tv talk show host on Oprah's new network. I stayed up for hours on end rallying people to vote and I shamelessly admit I spent a good bit of time voting for myself.

Why? The desire to achieve a particular end.

Obviously I didn't win, but that experience was liberating for me. There couldn't be a better way to announce to the world you feel worthy of having your own tv show. I made up my mind that if I was ever going to work for someone other than myself again or start a new career, I'd have the title of Television Personality.

You find yourself unfulfilled because the thing you're doing and the path you're on is one that doesn't excite you. You haven't identified what the particular end looks like. Fear has shown up and choked the life out of you. It leaves you feeling like there's no end in sight.

The people who achieve success are no different from you. I know you've heard that a gazillion times. But when was the last time you heard it from someone who was in the pursuit process right along with you? How many times has someone shared with you they're down to their last $100 dollars and despite that, they're determined not to give up?

You have to boldly confess your confidence and get past what others think about your desired end. It's your end, not theirs. Yours may not mirror mine, but I sincerely believe it's equally as important and meaningful.

Get off the treadmill to Complacentville. You've been walking (or in some cases running) in place gaining mileage and going nowhere long enough. Ask yourself this one question:

What would I do if I weren't afraid of being judged?

Envision that place for a minute. See yourself happy, surrounded by people who want success for you as bad as you want it for yourself. What will you do before you go to bed tonight to help get you there?

Starting from the End

I tried several times to maneuver my way through this maze. Just like I tried to maneuver through my day on Wednesday.

It happens from time to time. I lose focus. I'll have my list of  to-do's for the day which sometimes morphs into a week's worth of tasks, but somehow I get off track. 

It all started with an email from a sender promoting her event and somehow that same sender totally forgot  I was a speaker and never bothered to ask me to speak at the event. She just remembered she had my email address when she included me on the mass blind-copied solicitation. This is just one example of the kind of stuff that can get in your head and stay there and turn into those little negative voices I warn you about. Brain spam. That's a pretty good name for it. You didn't consciously subscribe to it, but it finds you nonetheless.

SECOND THOUGHTS

We all have them. I started several times to delete what I said above about the invite. But here's the reason why I didn't: I'd be erasing the truth. At least on the surface. You wouldn't have been none the wiser about the situation, but it still would've been very much a part of my true feelings. The areas of my life that I really have a grasp on are the ones where I'm completely honest about how I feel (FYI...honesty is sometimes polar opposite of pretty and positive). That doesn't mean I don't have moments of doubt, I just don't lie about it when I do.

REFLECTION

The only way I can get beyond whatever it is that's bothering me is to take a step back and look at myself. What role did I play? What is it costing me to be in this place? What's the big picture?

VENTING

My version of this is sending a one sentence email - typed in all CAPS as I bang the hell outta the keyboard - to my trusted friend who knows all too well how I feel, but would never respond in a negative way to perpetuate things. Neither one of us believes in having pity parties so after I hit send, she'll share a similar story and then forward me encouraging and funny messages for the rest of the day.

STARTING OVER

When I first looked at the homemade maze in the photo, I couldn't figure out how to get from start to finish. I kept bumping into curlies and squigglies, but never got to the end. As not to be defeated, I placed my finger at 'Finish' and successfully navigated my way to 'Start' on the first try. I tend to lose focus when I fail to look at  things from a number of different perspectives. Tunnel vision has that effect on you. By the end of the day on Wednesday, I'd found my internal 'Reset' button. Not by myself though. I talked to two other confidants and with their help, clarity showed up. And of all the things I did, I remembered the goals I'd set for this year. How stupid of me for forgetting in the first place because they center around three simple words. These words are posted right above my vision board now, where they should've been all along. Had I been doing my part and paying more attention to these words, I probably would've been one of the first people to pop into the email sender's mind when she started working on her event.

When I look at them from now on, not only will I be reminded of where I'm going, I can't help but reflect on the situation that lead to them being there in the first place. I do believe your past can help form better habits, healthier habits to better shape your future.

photo: randomstring

Title This Whatever You Want

I tweeted this post and @asummermoon replied:

@iHiredMe wow that's great congrats...btw love the frank advice and down to earth nature you present on your blog

 Lynn Davis
@asummermoon

Thank you, Lynn.

1. It took me forever to figure out how to get that screensot image thingy on here. Huge technological advancement for The Unemployed Entrepreneur®.
2. It took me longer than I care to admit to get to the point of being frank. I have no problems in this area in real life, but for some reason it was a challenge here.
3. The reason it was a challenge is because I was treating my blog a little bit differently than I do real life - kind of. I've figured that much out - I think.
4. This is my blog. Period. I can make it whatever I want it to be. I can write about whatever I want to write about. No matter how much the experts tell me I'm supposed to focus on one thing. 
5. I'm not one dimensional, therefore, one focus doesn't work for me. One focus is like fitting into one box. I don't do boxes. Unless they're round - like a hat box. The box most people don't think about when you bring up the word "box". 
6. My blog won't appeal to everyone and I don't want it to. If it did, that would make it one dimensional.
7. Advice varies. What you would tell someone may not be the same as what the person next to you would suggest. I give advice based on my own experiences and would never tell someone to do something I wouldn't do myself. 
8. Being me is easy. It doesn't take any extra effort on my part. I wake up and show up and my job is done. I'm a deep thinker, but being me requires the least amount of thought.
9. Thought takes a back seat to action in my world. Thinking deep doesn't mean shit if you aren't willing to roll up your sleeves, get your shovel out, and dig half as deep as you allow yourself to over analyze.
10. As much as I appreciate you taking the time to read, comment, tweet, and Facebook, I'd turn cartwheels if you actually got up and decided to do something - not for me - but for yourself.

Stairway to Success - CONFIDENCE

"I have great things to accomplish. I can't put everybody in the boat and be the only one rowing. I need people around me who feel worthy of success." ~ The Unemployed Entrepreneur®

This image has been in my drafts since November 2010. When I came across it on Flickr, I knew at some point I'd have a topic to attach to it. Instead of cramming too much stuff into one post, I'm going to write separately about each of the four words that lead you up the stairs of success.

WHY THE QUOTE?

I said it in our Action & Accountability Network meeting this month and a member shared it on Facebook. I was explaining to the ladies that if they only want to be comfortable in life, I'm probably not the ideal person to work with. The statement wasn't scripted or rehearsed - about 95% of what I say isn't - it's the result of me genuinely being who I am and speaking from the sincerest place in my heart. With the purest intentions.

CONFIDENCE

It takes confidence to believe in who you are. It takes even more confidence to tell someone you believe in yourself AND what you're capable of doing. The reason women struggle with saying it in the first place is because they simply don't believe it. They've decided that merely existing is good enough. Being more and loving yourself are sins.

The other scenario looks like this: a woman stands on stage and/or hides behind social media and preaches it, but she doesn't live it. She's perfected the art of  being all dolled up on the outside knowing good and well she's a hot mess on the inside. When the spotlights are off and the crowd is gone, she becomes who she really is. A victim of low self-esteem masked by rhetoric, designer labels, and special effects.

You'll never become all you were meant to be if you're living a double life. Lying to yourself and those around you only opens doors that lead to more lies and deception. Success is about freeing yourself.

If you truly believe you deserve more than what you're settling for right now, shout it from the rooftop. Confess it, own it, and do your part to attract it. But just know that when you do, the comfortable people will become extremely uncomfortable.

Confidence is the first step. You may have to take it alone in order to get to the people who are willing to go with you. Are you ready?

Photo credit: IQoncept

Relationship Status with My Dentist - It's Complicated

This was originally written and posted on 5/11/11. I've reposted due to technical difficulties.

I've been telling my brain for the past few days it's time to get out of mini-vacation mode and back to business. Today is the day it finally decided to listen.

Let me bring you up to speed on a couple of things:

• I had a wonderful Mother's Day weekend in San Antonio with my sister and The Girl. Seventeen years ago on Mother's Day, God blessed me with the most beautiful little girl in the world. She loves to tell people she was "my gift".

• My root canal saga still isn't over. I can't get the impression made for my crown because the ragedy ass tooth is still healing. I'm ready to be done with this already! Despite having to eat mashed potatoes for like a week straight and only being able to chew on the right side of my mouth, I did manage to find a great dentist. And no - he's not paying me to write this, nor do I get a discount of any kind. I have the receipts to prove it.

I was reclined back in the chair watching the Oprah Winfrey Network (the hygienist already had it on my station when I got to room #2 - my room). When Dr. Gupta walked in, the first words out of his mouth weren't, "So...how does that awful cavity invested tooth of yours feel?"

He came in and much to my surprise began the conversation by saying, "Donna - you haven't written a blog in over a week!". What the hell? Who died and made him the blog police?!

Just like any other dumb crimimal would do, I started confessing. Explaining about how I didn't take my computer out of town and I don't have web capabilities on my phone. I truly wanted to be unplugged and connected to my family. Something I intend to do more often.

I know...you want me to answer the burning question, "How did your dentist know you had a blog?" That's not the typical dentist-patient kind of conversation. I'll spell it out for you:

HIS JOB as my dentist is to educate me on his expertise and how that relates to me as his patient. My job is to ask questions so I clearly understand expectations - his and mine. I have to know what he does and why he does it so I can go out and refer business to him. Not because I have a financial incentive to do so, but simply because that's what we as entrepreneurs and small business owners should do. I'm pleased to say that since my initial visit in April, I've sent him seven new patients. That's how exceptional customer experiences and word-of-mouth works. For me at least. If you do a great job and treat me like I matter, I go out and become one of your biggest advocates.

 MY JOB is to find the opportunity to share what I do with anyone who'll listen. I can't dismiss anyone. Meaning, I couldn't say to myself, "Nah..he's my dentist..he could care less if I'm a blogger." I have to toot the horn and not worry about people tuning me out. The checker at Wal-Mart got my autograph in 2008 when I went in to buy copies of Redbook magazine. I bought about 10 of them and he asked why I was buying so many. Not only did I tell him I was in the magazine, I held up the line and flipped to my feature and showed him.

You miss out on opportunities when you judge and over analyze. You miss out on opportunities when you allow fear of rejection to consume you. You never know when that one person you tell is going to be the person. The person who takes you from almost famous to an eleven-year overnight success.

photo: United Planet

Today's Video: Stop Saying You're Fine - Chapter 2

My mentor, Mel Robbins, sent me her new book to review. The thoughts and opinions in this video and on this post are solely my own and not those of any other party or entity. No form of monetary consideration has been exchanged for this review and the link shared is not an affiliate link.

If you can't see the video CLICK HERE.

Blogger Went Down: What I Learned from Their Screw Up

On Wednesday 5/11, Blogger performed some scheduled maintenance work. Something went wrong which resulted in lost posts and comments. Thankfully, only one of mine disappeared. 

I found out about the issue on twitter (my source for all breaking news). Ranting tweets started showing up in my stream, so I did a search to find out what was going on.

Folks were pissed off in all different kinds of languages! This was a global mishap. And while I'm only fluent in English, it doesn't take a genius to translate, "What the hell happened to my stuff and when is this shit gonna be resolved?".

Blogger sent periodic updates letting us know they were working to restore posts and comments and everything lost should be back by this weekend. Well, it's Sunday and my last post is still MIA. If it's not restored by tonight, I'm reposting it. If you're a subscriber, this means you'll get it in your inbox again. BTW - I apologize for old stuff landing in your email, but it's happening due to Blogger trying to fix the problem.

As I was reading tweets that came up in my search, I couldn't help but notice the number of people who said they were moving over to WordPress because of this issue. I can't speak for anyone else, but my blog has been powered by Blogger for three years and this was my first time experiencing anything like this. And truthfully, it's not a big enough problem to make me want to pack up and relocate.

I started to think about how we respond and react to problems that arise in our lives - be it business or personal. Some of us are quick to jump ship at the first sign of trouble. It's almost as if we sit around and wait for a glitch so that we can justify abandoning the project. I heard Russell Simmons give a radio interview about six or seven years ago and he said something that stuck with me through the years. He basically said we can't accomplish things or experience success because as soon as we hit a rock, we move to another spot and start digging a new hole. When we hit a rock there, we do the same thing - move to another spot. Before we know it, we look around and we're surrounded by unfinished tasks. Abandoned goals.

Instead of getting all emotional and Blogger-bashing, I decided to focus on how I could fix the problem. Sitting around hitting 'Refresh' and checking every five minutes to see if the post was up again was taking a toll on me. I needed to do something - it was time to start digging again.

I texted people who subscribe to my blog and asked if they still had the post in their inboxes. BINGO! Problem solved. Thank you, Linda D. Wilson, for being an email hoarder. Keep up the good work.

How many times have you hit a snag and thrown in the towel? How many half-dug holes do you have in your landscape? What's stopping you from picking up the shovel and going back at it?

photo: Nicole

God Bless Our Country

America can do WHATEVER we set our minds to. ~President Barack Obama (5/1/11)

 
 
photo: keviikev