Why I Won't Be Your Facebook Friend

While making my blogging rounds, I came across an interesting post from Denise over at Nurturing Creativity. Title: Why I Axed Facebook. She starts off saying how she'd been wrestling with the decision for quite some time. 

Yours truly has gone back and forth with doing the same. 

And while I decided not to divorce Facebook completely, I did make the decision to reevaluate my friends. 

When I first joined FB (in December 2010 I think) I dove in with the, "I'm gonna use it for business...to market and get clients" mindset. Let me tell ya. THAT didn't last long at all. One would think my awful beginner experience on twitter had taught me a lesson. Everyone assured me FB was different...it's not like twitter. And in some ways - they're polar opposites. In others - they're identical.

I found myself pretty much accepting any and every friend request that came my way. Except for the obvious creepy ones. If me and the person had a few mutual friends, they were in. 

As I started to use FB for more of a personal communication platform, I realized I didn't want total strangers in the mix. Going in and unfriending those people wasn't hard at all. I didn't know them in the first place. We were by no means friends. I went from over 500 to a little over 300 in no time. As of right now, I'm at 325. I exed two more folks today. 

For some strange reason, I was trying to get down to a certain number. The exact opposite of what most people do. I was trying to convince myself that a smaller number meant the remaining friends were more meaningful. Mirroring how it typically happens in real life. FYI: I don't know anyone walking around with 3,718 friends. 

So what's my approach? 

Instead of looking at the number, I look at the level of interaction. If I'm talking to you and you're talking to me, then obviously we enjoy each other's conversation. Are we really friends?! Probably not. 

Why didn't I do this in the first place? Well I'll tell you why. Because whether you want to believe it or not - all social media platforms are based on numbers. The more the better. Without even realizing it, you fall victim to believing this is the right way to go about it, knowing good and well it ain't. 

If we haven't "spoken" to each other in months, clearly we aren't friends. If the last conversation we had was you wishing me happy birthday last year - no mi amigo. 

If you have all of your stuff auto-synced and never respond to anything I say, I don't want to be your friend. When I stop by and say hello, and you come back with something that gives you the opportunity to promote your service or product..yep...no friendship here. 

I may not be doing it the right way, but I am doing it MY way. And when it comes to me managing my online relationships - my way is the only way that matters.