The Emily Morgan Experience

More than 2.5 million people per year visit The Alamo. 

A couple of weekends ago, my family and I became a statistic.

I was invited to San Antonio by a client to facilitate a board leadership retreat. The kind of gig I absolutely love. You spend a few hours in a small intimate setting honing in on team building and laser focused strategizing.

As much as I enjoy meeting new people and helping them set their ideas into motion, a life of all work and no play is something I don't want to revert back to. I need both to exist in harmony with myself.

We stayed at the beautiful and historic Emily Morgan Hotel. 

The second-most photographed building in all of San Antonio.

When I googled the property and saw the exterior, I assumed the interior would reflect the original architecture of the structure. Something I'm not a fan of. We each have our own design preferences and mine is all about modern and contemporary spaces. 

The dark wood and clean lines balance the hotel's theme. You're able to appreciate the memorabilia without feeling like you're in a museum. Everywhere you look, you're reminded of the luxurious amenities and accommodations. 

The double-bed room was spacious and the kids enjoyed waking up to an Alamo. When I got back to the room on Friday after the retreat, the hotel staff had loaded us up with freshly baked cookies, beverages, and complimentary breakfast vouchers.

The property is undergoing a multi-million dollar renovation at the end of the year. Here's what I would like to see incorporated into the upgrades:

• queen beds | traveling families often share a room and larger beds make for a better sleeping experience
• redesigned shower and tub | the jacuzzi style is nice, but the tub sits pretty high off the ground and stepping in was a bit tricky

The Emily Morgan Hotel is only two blocks from the Riverwalk, one of the most popular vacation spots in the U.S. So it doesn't matter if you're a business or leisure traveler - this conveniently located gem is the ultimate boutique destination offering superior quality and service at an exceptional value.

I'm looking forward to my next visit. 

Would you add San Antonio to your list of Texas cities to tour?!

The Dark Side of Online Friendships

There's something I've been wanting to share with you for a while now. I was waiting for the right time and decided the whole Facebook friend issue was a good segue. 

I've talked alot about the wonderful relationships I've developed as a result of the online connections I've made. What I haven't talked about are the ones I believed to be genuine and it turned out they were anything but. 

SITUATION #1:

A blogger and I connected on twitter last year and started reading/commenting/sharing each other's posts. She was very vocal about a particular stand she took when it came to mommy blogging and I shared some of the same views. Over time, it seemed like her tweets became more aggressive and self-centered. She was constantly retweeting the praise and recognition she was getting from others. 

Here's what I know about social media: you can use it however you choose, but I don't have to be subjected to it. It's that simple. That's what the unfollow button is for. So that's what I did. I unfollowed her. It had nothing to do with what I thought about her as a person, and everything to do with what I want coming across my timeline. Before I had a chance to explain to her why I had unfollowed, she'd gone over to Facebook and unfriended me. Ok great. Now I know all of the inbox messages we exchanged and the sentiment she shared when commenting on my blog posts should have been taken at face value. 

Here's where I'll also hold myself accountable. I shouldn't have been so naive in the first place. Lesson learned. 

SITUATION #2:

Another blogger and I began our online relationship back in 2008. In 2011 we became closer. I'm not sure how it happened, but we ended up exchanging phone numbers which led to daily text messages and a phone call at least a couple of times per month. I. Was. Thrilled! I'd finally found someone who had the same long-term blogging goals as myself. We bounced ideas off of each other, talked about her coming to Texas for a small blogging event I wanted to have, and ended up sharing very personal details about our private lives. Yes...more than what I already tell you here on my blog. 

And get this. I had told this person about Situation #1 and we both agreed if we ever had any issues with each other - perceived or otherwise - we'd talk about it. Well guess what? That didn't happen. I noticed she wasn't responding to my texts (when in the past, if she was busy she'd tell me...proactively, I might add) and the blog engagement stopped. I called twice and left voicemail messages asking what was wrong and never got a return phone call. 

I was really hurt. This wasn't anything like Situation #1. I walked away from that one and never thought twice about it. But person #2 and I had talked about this very thing and how we were actually friends and how friends don't treat each other that way. To this day - I've been trying to figure out what I did wrong. What did I say or do to offend her? It obviously had to be my fault. 

*By now, I'm sure you're thinking bloggers are extremely dysfunctional. My response to that: we're human. 

SITUATION #3:

This person is the one I've 'known' the shortest amount of time. She's an entrepreneur with a specific focus, but she goes outside of her niche to connect with other people. That was the thing I liked about her. She didn't stay inside her box of industry professionals. 

She sent an email telling me she was coming to town and extended an invitation to meet in person. You know I was all over that opportunity! Well, when it came time for her to be here, I followed up so we could finalize the details. Not a single response. 

You've got to be kidding me. What the hell is my problem?!

I waited a couple of weeks and sent her a note. And in that note, I told her if I'd done anything to upset her to please let me know. 

Can somebody let me know where I'm screwing up so I can fix it please?!

Well much to my surprise, I got a response back with an apology. It turns out she'd been experiencing a multitude of personal issues and her way of dealing with things was to shut down. Ohh how I can relate to that. 

Each one of these situations has taught me something different. And I guess the main takeaway is that the person you've known the longest may not be the person who you have the strongest relationship with. Communication is a two-way street and no matter how much I hold myself accountable, I can't take all of the blame for what may have gone wrong. 

Online relationships can be deceiving. All you have is a person's written word. Their comments, updates, etc. When you look at that and measure it against their actions, they should be aligned. Just like in real life. 

I've got to be really careful how I use the word friend. It doesn't mean I can't initiate new connections, it just means I can't lose sight of what's real and what's not. 

Why I Won't Be Your Facebook Friend

While making my blogging rounds, I came across an interesting post from Denise over at Nurturing Creativity. Title: Why I Axed Facebook. She starts off saying how she'd been wrestling with the decision for quite some time. 

Yours truly has gone back and forth with doing the same. 

And while I decided not to divorce Facebook completely, I did make the decision to reevaluate my friends. 

When I first joined FB (in December 2010 I think) I dove in with the, "I'm gonna use it for business...to market and get clients" mindset. Let me tell ya. THAT didn't last long at all. One would think my awful beginner experience on twitter had taught me a lesson. Everyone assured me FB was different...it's not like twitter. And in some ways - they're polar opposites. In others - they're identical.

I found myself pretty much accepting any and every friend request that came my way. Except for the obvious creepy ones. If me and the person had a few mutual friends, they were in. 

As I started to use FB for more of a personal communication platform, I realized I didn't want total strangers in the mix. Going in and unfriending those people wasn't hard at all. I didn't know them in the first place. We were by no means friends. I went from over 500 to a little over 300 in no time. As of right now, I'm at 325. I exed two more folks today. 

For some strange reason, I was trying to get down to a certain number. The exact opposite of what most people do. I was trying to convince myself that a smaller number meant the remaining friends were more meaningful. Mirroring how it typically happens in real life. FYI: I don't know anyone walking around with 3,718 friends. 

So what's my approach? 

Instead of looking at the number, I look at the level of interaction. If I'm talking to you and you're talking to me, then obviously we enjoy each other's conversation. Are we really friends?! Probably not. 

Why didn't I do this in the first place? Well I'll tell you why. Because whether you want to believe it or not - all social media platforms are based on numbers. The more the better. Without even realizing it, you fall victim to believing this is the right way to go about it, knowing good and well it ain't. 

If we haven't "spoken" to each other in months, clearly we aren't friends. If the last conversation we had was you wishing me happy birthday last year - no mi amigo. 

If you have all of your stuff auto-synced and never respond to anything I say, I don't want to be your friend. When I stop by and say hello, and you come back with something that gives you the opportunity to promote your service or product..yep...no friendship here. 

I may not be doing it the right way, but I am doing it MY way. And when it comes to me managing my online relationships - my way is the only way that matters. 

Warning: Abnormal Blogger Ahead

I had a birthday last week and you know what that means. A gazillion happy birthday wishes via Facebook. I make it a point to read and say thank you to every single one.

As I was scrolling through, there were a few that stuck out and made me laugh. In particular, the one from my friend Shonika. She included every possible thing she knew about me when outlining how I should celebrate. 

On the list: hot wings, martinis, and a gift card to a discount shopping store. 

How could someone I've only met in real life one time know so much about me? Occasionally we talk business on the phone, but is it normal for someone to know your favorite food and drink AND shopping habits merely from having an online relationship with you?!

It is if that's the kind of stuff you share - publicly without shame. 

At first, I hid behind a boring "professional" personality. Think 'corporate America online profile' filled with fancy jargon that doesn't mean jack to the rest of the world. I was that. I mean, that's still a part of who I am and always will be, but the truth of the matter is - there's so much more to Miss Donna. 

When I started talking about other things - the fun stuff, my likes, pet peeves, and dreams - that's when my blogging voice come alive. It was at that point I started to get emails and comments from readers sharing their stories as a result of me opening up. Richer relationships developed. I felt like my writing  was more meaningful. Its purpose went beyond pageviews.

You aren't perfect. You remind yourself every time you point to your flaws. 

Instead of looking down on yourself, allow your imperfections to work to your advantage.

I incorporate all of the weird, nerdy, "not normal" habits and hang-ups my family complains about into a memorable and relatable brand. 

I'm self-diagnosed with mild-to-moderate OCD and proud of it dammit! My blogging and coffee addictions don't need an intervention. If I'd rather watch reruns on CNBC instead of going bowling - don't knock it! 

Boldly embrace all of you. Own your authentic self - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I'm late to the party. Tea invited me to her Word Carnival ages ago, so when I needed a topic to write about today, I knew just where to go for inspiration.