Suze Orman-Octomom Smackdown: My Wake-up Call

 As I watched Suze Orman's financial intervention with Nadya Suleman on Oprah (unbeknownst to me it was a rerun from January of this year), I was expecting Suze to dissect her finances line-by-line, penny-by-penny and give action steps to control her spending and increase her savings. The kind of advice Suze gives her viewers every Saturday night at 8pm CST on CNBC.

Candid Confession: while most folks are out on the weekends enjoying a night on the town or cuddled up watching movies, you can find me alone in my bedroom - having an intimate experience with The Suze Orman Show. I used to text my sisters and friends to remind them to watch, but after getting no response at all or, "You watch and tell me what she says!", I stopped.

 Much to my surprise, Suze's infamous Octomom smackdown turned out to be a much-needed reality check for me, The Unemployed Entrepreneur®.

Suze ordered Nadya to do four things: fire the nannies, have a garage sale, get an agent, and pray. In all my years of being an Orman fan, I don't think I've ever heard her tell anyone that only God could help them through their financial crisis.

 As Nadya fidgeted, rambled, evaded questions, and burst into that awful nervous laugh of hers, I listened carefully to what she was saying, as well as to what she wasn't saying (one of the many abilities Suze and I have in common).

 NADYA & DONNA - MORE ALIKE THAN DIFFERENT

On the surface, you probably wouldn't draw many parallels between Nadya and me. She has 14 kids and used in vitro, I had two the old-fashioned way - the stork dropped em off. She's been paid to appear in tabloids, was interviewed by Dr. Phil, and creates a paparazzi firestorm. I couldn't pay a magazine to put me on the cover, have never been courted by the tv doc, and the only person frantically trying to capture me on camera is The Girl.

Yet and still, the similarities we share are frightening and had I not been watching with the intent of learning something, I would've totally missed them. But what valuable life-lessons could this highly criticized and controversial mother impart on me?

After witnessing Nadya's meltdown, I had no choice but to "woman up" and face my own truth:

DESTITUTE - this is what lead Nadya to write the emotional letter and plea for help to Oprah. She had $300 to her name and no source of income. A reluctant glance at my own checking and  PayPal accounts rendered a total of $109.12. Damn. Despite having 14 mouths to feed, Octomom is more "well-off" than I am. How the hell could this be? I have a few speaking engagements lined up, I just launched a new coaching program, and I co-host a radio show. Numbers don't lie, but this isn't adding up.

PRIDE -  this keeps Nadya from asking people for help. If she put herself into a predicament, she feels it's her responsibility to get herself out. I've been without a salary since the summer of 2008. I exhausted my unemployment benefits in May 2009. During that time, I've reached out for help twice. I borrowed $700 from my uncle. I've yet to settle that debt. I asked another relative for $40 and after getting it, I learned they'd sent me their last. I returned the unopened envelope back to sender. My sisters know I have to be on my last leg to ask for anything, so when I needed my car fixed she offered to pay and I accepted - making it clear that one day I'd pay her back. I just couldn't tell her exactly when that day would be.

EXPLOITATION - was the reason Nadya turned down offers to do reality tv. She didn't want to exploit her children. As a mother, I can certainly relate to that. I watch reality shows and at times it looks like the "reality" is scripted, embellished, and full of sensationalism. When you sign on the dotted line do you automatically forfeit all rights to be depicted accurately?  In exchange for five-figures an episode do producers get free reign to cast you in the image that will garner the highest ratings? My half-dozen loyal fans tell me all the time I should write a book and have my own tv show, but doing so at the expense of sacrificing my integrity or selling my soul isn't an option. I want longevity and to be taken seriously. I don't think playing into such stereotypes as the backstabbing-angry-black-woman-living-beyond-my-means will bring either. Just as Suze told Nadya there was a respectful way to do it and make money, the same applies to me.

AGENT - is who Suze told Nadya to seek out and hire asap. She had to do something to feed the kids, whether she wanted to exploit them or not. Nadya complied and connected with a literary agent. Here's where I'm swallowing every bit of my pride and asking for your help. If you know an agent please share this with them! If you know somebody who knows somobody who knows an agent - share this with them! Suze agreed to work with Nadya after initially having said she wouldn't. Why? Because she feels everyone deserves a chance - a break. I'm no different.

JUDGING -  is what some of you have been doing the whole time you've been reading this. I've been judged my entire my life and I must admit, I've been guilty of judging others as well. When will we stop? When will we say enough with the finger pointing and start to look at our own individual situations and circumstances which are far from perfect? When will you have the courage to own your own truth and realize the person sitting next to you, with all their faults and flaws, is more like you than you dare admit? Because I'm confident in who I am and the person I'm becoming, I give myself permission to celebrate my strengths without seeking approval from anyone else. I will relish in them while everyone else dwells on my weaknesses.

PRAYER - is what brought about major changes in Nadya's life. I haven't jumped in the car barefoot like she did to drive to church and talk to a pastor, but believe me, I am. Even with knowing how powerful prayer can be, the fact remains that I must commit to continuing to do the work. Creating opportunities and embracing the journey. Relentless faith combined with relentless action will take me to new heights - bringing with it a greater level of responsibility as I ascend.

Photo: oprah.com