October is The Devil

Dear October 2011,

I need for you to get the hell outta my life ASAP! Yes, I know you're gonna show up like clock-work, but was it really necessary for you to be such a bitch this time around?!

It started with the pitiful blog stats you threw at me. Like really...85 pageviews per day?? Give me a damn break!

When you saw that was starting to consume me, you did what you thought was the right thing by pushing my elderly mama down while she was trying to plug in her candle warmer.

NEVER again do I want to be responsible for a 73 year old woman set in her ways who refuses any kind of help and turns extremely vicious when you take away her nicotine! It's not a pretty sight. Trust me.

But ooohhhh noooooo...you didn't stop there. You had to go and do this:

no caption needed. his body language speaks for itself.

You see that look up there on his face? That's the look of a kid who's pissed off at October!

leaving after-hours doctor visit. nurse not included.

Did you miss the memo that The Boy plays FLAG football?! A low-to-no contact sport?! You were considerate enough though to break his right tibia on the same day his Granny had surgery on hers.

And as a result, I'm waaaayyyy too familiar with the orthopedic procedure known as 'open fixation internal reduction'.

A fancy way of saying, "You're getting Propofal while we cut you open and stick screws in your broken bones".

Which brings us to this:

pre-surgery. post-crying episode.

You know good and damn well I had no intentions of ever going public with Baby Daddy! His role is behind the scenes. Paying bills and other duties as assigned. Your tactic to get us photographed together was evil!

The look on his face says, "Yippee! She finally put my pic on her blog!"

Mine says, "Don't let the fake grin fool ya...I'm still bustin' a cap in October's ass when this is all over with!"

The poor kid has no idea what's going on. Look at his eyes. He's feeling kinda Charlie Sheen-ish thanks to the pre-Propofal cocktail the nice nurse lady gave him. Winning!

I'm convinced October is really 'Satan on a Calendar'. Halloween has been abolished up in here.

we need to work on his non-verbal communication.

No. That's not the on-call physician making his rounds. That's the private bedside entertainment provided by Dell Children's Medical Center.

Note to Aetna Insurance: If above mentioned entertainment isn't covered by you, please remember to bill Baby Daddy accordingly.

After day-surgery that turned into an overnight hospital stay, you sent us home. With a wheelchair, crutches, and codeine (the urinal Baby Daddy walked out with, as if it were some kind of a trophy, is irrelevant.)

The look on The Boy's face was priceless when he got home and saw these:

the infamous biceps he asked the physical therapist to measure.

If I have anything to do with it, those will be the only footballs he ever holds again for the rest of his life.  

Found Online: Friends, Girdles & Opportunities

Have you ever seen one of those enticing, yet spammy looking advertisements telling you you could get paid for your time just by completing surveys?

I stumbled across another one here recently that was offering a $150 Visa gift card to watch cable programming for five days. They were conducting research for a new online-only subscription service called HBO Go. About two days into the project, my logon got messed up so I wasn't able to complete the study. I answered like 10 questions and was surprised when I got an email saying my payment was ready to be redeemed. Turns out, those 10 questions were equivalent to $20.

I'd already decided what I was gonna buy had I gotten paid in full. I was heading over to Target for one of these:

photo courtesy of target.com

The remaining balance was gonna be used for Christmas shopping.

Instead of getting another muffin top reducer, I decided to support one of my buddies who's working her ass off to build her direct sales business. I've known this lady for almost two years now and she's one of my biggest cheerleaders. She sends me links to deals and shares all kinds of money saving resources with me. When I write a post about a challenge I'm facing, she takes the time to send an email offering encouragement.

And by the way...when I say "I've known her" for almost two years, that means we met on Facebook in March 2010...never laid eyes on her in real life. But that's how social networking works...when you're really building relationships.

I can't wait for my Avon to get here! I scored some pretty good deals by ordering from Jan online.

I remember when I was a little girl and the Avon lady would come by our house on Saturday afternoons. My my my have times changed.

Anyway, if you're in need of eye shadow or perfume or foot scrub or jewelry or Christmas ornaments or anything else, click on over and order from Jan.

I'll shoot a video and show you my goodies when they get here!

Dr. Oz Is Going To Be The Death Of Me

The clueless non- coffee drinkers of America probably didn't know National Coffee Day was September 29th.

I celebrated. With coffee. Nothing fancy, just my usual Folgers instant. 

Coffee addict - yes. Coffee snob - no.

With a different study out on any given day giving conflicting and confusing information about the health benefits or lack thereof when it comes to drinking coffee, you can imagine how torn I am trying to decide if I want to kick the habit altogether.

I gave it up for lent a couple of years ago and didn't die, but the thought of divorcing it for good makes my heart rate drop.

What I have decided to do is make a few healthier choices...choices that work for me. 

Dairy creamer is out. No more french vanilla flavoring in my cup. I'm using almondmilk in its place.

Bye-bye sugar as of this month. I finally followed Dr. Oz's advice and stirred in a little agave nectar.

photo courtesy of drugstore.com

I bought the exact one pictured above (from Wal-Mart..no trip to a specialty store) and I absolutely love the taste! 

It costs like $3 and change so I just closed my eyes when the checker scanned it. This certainly qualifies as one of those items that make you say, "Um...can you take that off please?!", when you get to the end of your transaction and see your total. Don't even act like you ain't never done that before!

In the event I don't give up my java and considering the changes in how I 'take mine' now, I'd still like to work up to drinking it straight black. 

THAT would make me feel like a real woman!

Bloggers Don't Get Paychecks - Part 2

I'm really excited to announce my video project with Social Moms on behalf of their client, Nature's Path Organic Foods.

When I wrote Bloggers Don't Get Paychecks and shared the opportunity on my Facebook page, some of you wanted to know how this came about:

• I've been an inactive member of Social Moms (SM) since 2008 or 2009 (when it was known as Twitter Moms). I continue to get the newsletter and scan it for opportunities. When I saw the call out, I completed the questionnaire immediately. 
• Since I wasn't active in the SM community, I really didn't expect to get a response. Much to my surprise, I received an email from the SM team telling me they'd checked out my blog and videos and liked them. I'm making it a point to bring up my inactivity because there are some networks who give preferential treatment/better opportunities to members who engage more and/or pay for premium membership privileges. This isn't the case with SM. Thanks, Megan. 

• The fact that I have a YouTube channel was instrumental in me being chosen. All I had to do was point to my videos and let them speak for themselves. No convincing on my part. The decision makers were free to draw their own conclusion as to whether or not I'd be a good fit to convey their brand messaging.
• To increase your chances of getting paid gigs via your blog, you have to diversify and show all of your talents. Text-only blog posts won't cut it.You have to stand out and be memorable.

• This opportunity was pretty lucrative in my opinion, especially for a first timer like me. It took planning and scripting and directing. It's more labor intensive than writing a post to review a product. The only instructions I received were to be creative, incorporate music/dancing, and keep it under 30 seconds.
• Having a social media presence to be able to share and spread the message is very important, but SM or their client didn't focus on my follower/fan/subscriber numbers. They were interested in my content. If you think you can't put yourself out there until you grow your following, I'm here to tell you I have less than 6,000 twitter followers, just under 200 Facebook fans, and I'm holding steady at 53 YouTube subscribers with no viral videos. Some bloggers are interested in popularity contests and trying to penetrate the in-crowd. I'm not one of them.

You have to get clear on your goals for blogging and take steps every day to move you closer to achieving those goals. You have to be ready for the opportunity before it ever presents itself.

Stay humble, show gratitude, and help the person next to you. 

The spotlight might be on you at the moment, but you can't forget about the community who gave you the platform to shine.

This is not a sponsored post, meaning I'm not being paid to write this. I was compensated for creating a video for Nature's Path.